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LesClaypoolsFlyingFrogBrigade
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Name: George
Country: United States
State: Tennessee
Metro: Knoxville
Birthday: 11/15/1989
Gender: Male
Interests: Primus, c2b3, Les Claypool, guitars, theoretical physics, theoretical just about anything, psychology, dance (primarily ballet)
Expertise: Classical guitar, electric guitar, theoretical physics, pschology, dance, making people bleed from the ears
Occupation: Artist
Industry: Art
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  dctbc
Yahoo:  lumacadelvento
Member Since:
4/7/2004
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| just so everyone knows, that post was written by none other than
Meeshka Chaukinov himself. He now owns this xanga, and saying
something now is not going to make me take my xanga back.
This is my last post, but seriously people, say something when it
actually matters. like when i say A WEEK PRIOR that i'm giving it
up. not three days after.
In finality,
gE or Ge?
Ps: seriously, have a brain or two.
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| I hereby declare that all of the previous posting's awards are going to be redirected to Meeshka Chaukinov. Because he's awesome. | | |
| well, just 2 more hours....
i'm going to miss this, i think. Knowing that my last post
is this one, i am forced to view my life in sharp relief. All the
things in my life that i've held out to the world to see, all the
things that i have learned about the ones i love. Still, i am
determined to go through with this. i can always use my
deviantart site for some journaling, or maybe livejournal. but we
shall see.
As this xanga has represented my life over the past year and a haf or so, there are some awrds i'd like to hand out.
For Wittiest Postings: Loren Velázquez
i even ended up quoting you in for the artist description on a piece of art on my deviantart page.
For most inane, yet relative postings: Meeshka Chaukinov
your ramblings took you in every direction imaginable. Here's to a future of untold weirdness.
For most postings per week: John Paul Sharp
yes, we get it, you're a musician.
For cleverest concept: Roger Osterberg Stauntan Ridgedale
i started this for you, now you've made yourself useful. I salute you, lord of elegance.
For best poetry and prose: Meredith Whitfield
I hope to inspire you to write for many months to come.
For most incredible person in general: Sasha
see previous post. damn, girl.
For most emo-y, confusing, but captivating posts: Laura Aday
hey! it's Laura!
And to everyone i never met, thank you for making xanga what it is: useful.
Adieu, my friends. I go on to see my life in a new light.
Ein leichtes leises Säuseln
Ich bin auf der Flucht vor aufgebrachten Massen
quer duch die Wildnis am Ende angekommen
warte lange schon am Eingang stumm und ohne Plan
Zunächst ist da Sturm
du ziehst nicht damit vorbei
Dann ist da ein Beben
aber auch da bist du nicht involviert
Ich werde heftig von unten an den Wurzeln reissen
bis die obere Welt sich regt
Col de ma ma daqua
Ein leichtes leises Säuseln
Eine Stimme verschwaben Schweigens
Und gäbe es ungeheure Wassermassen
ich weiss du nähmst an keiner Flut mehr teil
Selbst wenn es heute noch Meterore regnet
du bist ganz einfach nicht mer dabei
Ich werde heftig an den zweiundzwanzig Wurzeln reissen
bis die obere Welt sich regt
Ich erhebe meine Gegenstimme
bis aus dem Säuseln die Antwort mir weht
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| one more depressing personal post before ian takes over and fills your mind with thoughts of weather and whimsy.
well, i guess i can't help but feel as though somehow i've made the
wrong decision. I know these people were not helping my life at all,
but was what i did unneccessary? sometimes, i think so; sometimes, i
don't. Why can't my life just make some sense to me? Would it be that
difficult for me to be decisive? How much do I really not want to care
about these people?
i
know i've hurt myself in some small way by excommunicating these
people. Maybe it's just me trying to numb myself as a way to prepare
for the future....
Sasha was wonderful. She was an excellent
person, in nearly all respects. But whenever i was around her, i always
felt as though she was talking down to me; as though she was just doing
this so that maybe i'd leave her alone and go away. what if i'm wrong
though? it always seemed that she felt anything at all for me in little
spurts, here and there. She's the only person that i've really gone a
little bit insane over. And yet, she never really understood. i don't
think anyone ever understands. sure, it's clichéd, but it's true. To
me, love can be discovered, or it can grab you and smack you across the
face. with sasha, it assaulted me, and i felt no remorse for trying to
follow its lead. but i soon learned that i would do so at a price. even
now, i'm feeling myself get choked up. i'm feeling my throat tighten,
as though i were trying to speak this.
I am generous with my
body. all those that admire it have a good shot at it, and then either
move around to the back of the line to wait their turn or hang around
until i notice they're still there. I really have loved all the people
i have ended up being with, but each in varying degrees. There are no
absolutes in love, there is only stronger love and weaker love. the
weakest form of love is hate. If you define love as caring for someone,
then hate really does fit. With hate, you care about whether or not
someone is happy or sad; however it is the inverse of love. Love, you
feel happiness when the other person is happy, sad when the other
person is sad, etc. ad infinitum. Hate, you feel happiness when the
other person suffers, sadness when the other is happy, and so on. Hate
gets very little done, and is very stagnant. positive, strong love is
the more dynamic, emotionally draining form of loving someone. i feel
true, strong, painful love for few. one was sasha. all i ever did was
want her to believe me when i said"i love you". For those that know me,
passion is the most important aspect of my life; i am a passionate
person. when someone takes that lightly, i will become agitated and at
often at least verbally violent. this is never more obvious than when
you kiss. if the kissing is bad and emotionless, then there is no
point, and you would do best to stop NOW. A bad kiss is a
terrible thing to me, and i don't think i could ever fully accept such
a heartless rejection as a passionless kiss.
..........................
i
need a good cry to set my mind straight on this matter. i'm going to
think it through for awhile, and then probably realize that i've
completely avoided things such as eating, sleeping, and socializing.
then i'll feel worse. oh well........
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| alright, in 5 days, this xanga will either be terminated or turned over
to someone else. I am "renovating" my life, and this really
doesn't serve my purposes anymore. Among the things i'm doing is
excommunicating everyone who depresses - or at least doesn't uplift -
me. If you can still make comments on this thing, that means you
are NOT one of those people. Or i just didn't know you had a
xanga.
P.S.: if you would like to take over mangament of this xanga, let me
know. personally, i don't really care what you do with it.
-gE or Ge?
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